Thursday, December 31, 2009

why i love the interwebs.


The other day, I was perusing the interwebs and stumbled across—vis-à-vis a random blog—a post about one of my favorite bloggers. Turns out her boyfriend (or her dude, as she calls him) may have an incurable form of cancer: multiple myeloma. Survival rate? Five years max. They're both in their twenties.

I did a double-take. And then I put my hand to my heart. And I uttered, “Oh, my God,” out loud, in the silence of my bedroom.

I’ve never met this blogger, never exchanged emails with her, never talked to her on the phone. I just know her through her words. But I know her nonetheless. And I could feel her sadness and shock and “WTF, world?!” And all I wanted to do was reach through my computer and touch her. Hug her. Hold her hand. Let her lean on my shoulder. Let her cry in my arms.

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I always make sure to read this blog. Every day. Because I know that it will always be 1) honest, b) raw, iii) human, and four) often hilarious. She doesn’t hold back. She shows what it means to be a messy-clean-perfectlyimperfect-real-searching-curious-strong-vulnerable human being, and she doesn’t apologize for it. Ever. And I love her for that. Even though we’ve never met. And she reads my blog sometimes, and when I was going through some of the darkest minutes of my life recently, she reached out. Sent me emails. Wrote soothing words. Hugged me through the interwebs' ether. Gave me her phone number. Made sure I'd made it through another day, even though I swore I didn't want to and hadn't planned on it. She loved me from afar.

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And this lovely? I wish she lived in Pittsburgh, because I’d hang out with her every.chance.possible. She leaves comments all the time on my blog. She visits my words and she takes them in and gives back her own. And I love her for that. And the words she gives back to me? Always full of love and wisdom and I-believe-in-you. Like a big sister. Arms wrapped around me from the other side of the country. Even though we’ve never met.

And the words on her blog? Living, breathing, heart. I let myself get wrapped up in them, and then I want to hug her.

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People who don’t blog often don’t understand those of us who do. “You just want attention,” they say. “Why do you want the world to know about your life?” “What’s so special about what goes on in your day-to-day existence?”

Everything, I want to say to them.

Every moment, every experience, every encounter. Because I only get it once. And that, to me, is pretty special.

But it’s not just about my existence. It’s about a shared humanity. A shared, lived experience. All of us bloggers out there. The reality of being human, being messy, being scared, being uncertain, being confused, being happy, being alive, being here.

Being.

These women I write about? They help to remind me that I’m not alone in this world. That life is messy and funny and hard and overwhelming and exhilarating and full of so many things we’ll never understand but will embrace nonetheless. Because we only get it once. The interwebs make me feel like we’re one big family, getting through this life together, holding on to one another, even though our arms and hands don't touch. Because our hearts ultimately end up doing so when those parts can't.

And isn’t that what life is really about? Us? Together? Here? Holding on to each other? Don’t we always feel better when we hold someone or let someone hold us?

with love from Pittsburgh,
Laura

6 lovely bits o' feedback.:

Petunia Face said...

Yes. Yesyesyes, that is it.

I love this post, and I did the same thing when I read about the girl whose boyfriend might have multiple myeloma.

Yes.

Thank you for being my friend (although god, now I have the Golden Girls theme song in my head and I always hated that show.)

Happy New Years!
S

Duel Living said...

Laura....I just found your blog from the comment that you left on mine. It's so nice to "meet" you. Your blog is great. Your words ring true, and I will continue to read. I hope you will come visit me again? Maybe we can be blogroll buddies...
xoxo,
Brandi

krista said...

oh crap. i'm all teary and bleary eyed now.
hugs, yes.

although, i will admit....
that picture up there FREAKSMEOUT.

xoxo

Jules said...

Just found you through the comment you left on Susannah's blog. Nice to meet a fellow "proud Catholic." :)

Oh, and I agree with your post very much.

mosey along said...

Just visiting from Susannah's blog. I can't pretend to know the pain you went through recently, but I'm sorry. Because yes, we share humanity and this IS a community. Well said, and most emphatically well-written. Hope you don't mind if I come back to visit from time to time...

Judi said...

WOW!!! I just love this post and feel like I could have written it! But, I didn't! You did. For a long while, I've been thinking about trying to put together some kind of group of Pittsburgh women bloggers that meet (for wine? tea? crumpets? martinis?)...I have no idea where or how or why or what it should look like but I think that it would be something to continue exploring. Probably because I've been looking at my own blog differently over the past year and there's so much talent out there! So many beautiful women bloggers...
Anyway, your post helped me to think all of this along a little more.....
I love visiting you!
Judi