i suffer from depression. it usually comes in cycles and lasts for several months at a time. it beats me up. this blog is a not a place where i'm trying to be something i'm not. what i write, i write from my core.

and sometimes it's difficult to read.

but this blog is my place to work through it. to write it out. to scream it out through one of the only ways i know how: by writing. 

i have two degrees in english, i model and act professionally, i work at a university, and i started a little project called secret agent l. it used to be a lifeline for me, but my depression has taken over, and i've had to walk away from the project. thankfully, my friend vivian is keeping it alive.

i try to keep my head above water. sometimes i sink. sometimes that water goes up my nose and makes me cough. sometimes i swallow so much that i simply can't breathe.

i've had some wonderful blessings in my life. but i've also had some terrible traumas that nobody should ever have to endure.

this is my life, right here, on this blog. i hope that you will show it the respect it deserves, even if you may not agree with it or understand it.  life is hard. walk gently, please.