Friday, June 17, 2011


i once gave you all of me
opened myself up
let all of the tender and vulnerable parts
and into your hands
where i trusted that you'd hold them
like a newborn
freshly introduced to the world

i was the woman who gave
and spilled out
and shared
and trusted
and wanted so much to have my parts
available to you

but you took those parts
wrapped your fingers around them in the form of a fist
and squeezed
until there was no breath left
and the parts of me gasped
trying desperately to get the air they needed
so that they wouldn't die

i should have learned after you
but i didn't
i continued to give
to whoever would hold the parts of me you left behind
even though those parts were withered
and struggling for breath
and needing resuscitated

and just like you
they took me in their hands
and squeezed the life out of me
until all that was left
was the memory of who i used to be 

{portrait of me, painted by my dear friend sonja}

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