Saturday, June 18, 2011

aegis.


I've never been athletic. My hand-eye coordination is only applicable in situations where musical instruments are involved. Or a computer keyboard. If you want me to try to do a layup {is that one word or two? or is it hyphenated?}, prepare for all manner of limbs and feet and hands in all the wrong places at all the wrong times. I used to play tennis in high school, but I could never seem to get a decent serve. When I played soccer in elementary and middle school, I always played defense. Just kick it when it comes to you. Don't do anything else. No maneuvering, no fancy tricks, just kick. {I'm very good at following directions.} And volleyball in junior high was, well, virtually laughable, because I was convinced someone was going to spike the ball in my face and the gazillions of dollars worth of dental work my loving parents had so generously provided me with would all be for naught. And so, I sort of just stood there, you know, bein' tall.

Huh. Looks like I was sort of athletic {tennis, soccer, volleyball}, just not good at being so.

Now I aim for graceful. I want to move like water, like wind...smooth and flowing and slow and just brushing by people gently as I make my way through this life. 

Gentleness.

There's really not a lot of that in this world, is there? Everyone and everything is so hard and fast and prickly.  Why is that?

I've decided I'm going to be a little more gentle with myself. I've been trying it out lately. Inviting more quiet into my days, spending time with just me, wrapping myself up in books and t-shirts and refreshing beverages and sunsets. I don't really go out too much anymore. I stay in, my cozy little city apartment holding me in its womb, nurturing me and protecting me from All The Things That Can Hurt Me. My deck, complete with lovely white bistro table and chairs, provides the perfect perch from which to view Out There while simultaneously holding me high above the rough and jaggedy world below.

Tell me, friend. What is it that you do to be gentle to your one and only self? Tell me how you protect the most important thing in your life: you.

2 lovely bits o' feedback.:

Akirah said...

I sometimes make selfish decisions, even when I feel awful about it. I may decline going to a party or postpone a Father's day outing so I can catch up on rest. I love loving people, but I've learned that NO ONE benefits if I'm not loving myself first.

Jill B said...

I try very hard (okay, not always "very hard") to maintain some balance. It makes a world of difference if I'm not too focused in any one direction to the detriment of others. So I leave work at quitting time, unless it's truly a NEED. I exercise a bit every day - if I don't I feel like poo-on-toast, and if I do I feel better and stronger to boot, a 45 minute walk stretches my muscles as well as helps clear my brain fog! I try to eat healthy, but also enjoy some dessert (I think that's terribly important in life). I go to sleep at a reasonable time most of the time (& sometimes I choose not to). All of these are "mosts" because sometimes it's important, in maintaining balance, to not be stuck in a routine. Sometimes balance means shaking it up, too. It helps me take care of me, and be of better use to the ones I love.