Monday, May 23, 2011

a little bit of hope.


The past several weeks have been consumed with me being depressed. So depressed, in fact, that I definitely didn't want to make plans with anyone, go anywhere, do anything. But on Saturday, I had a full day of activity. And I think it may have helped.

On Saturday morning, I gave the keynote address at the Girl Scouts of Western Pennsylvania's Annual Conference. When I mentioned in my speech that I was a Girl Scout once, they girls went crazy! I even gave them a mini mission to do, which they loved. I've even gotten emails from some of them already, telling me how much they liked my talk and how they can't wait to become Affiliated Agents with the Secret Agent L Project. That filled me up. A lot.

For dinner on Saturday, I went to D's in Regent Square with my colleague/friend Joe, his son Christopher, and Joe's friend Amy. And I ate the most delicious veggie hot dog ever. With a big cold Coke. And super fries. And we laughed and talked and smiled and ate and drank and were merry. All while breathing a sigh of relief that we avoided The Rapture.

And Saturday night was the best. My friend Mike wanted to do something low-key. I didn't really feel like going out and spending money, so he sent a text that said: "Do you have a porch?" My response was that I did, in fact, have a porch...and wine. He came over, brought blueberries, an orange, cheese, crackers, and we went to town. Delicious homemade wine from my friend Aly's family, lovely pairings (thanks to Mike), candles lighting us, warm air enveloping us, stars lingering above us, Pandora Radio singing to us...right out on my back deck. It was perfect. I felt happy. Relaxed. Safe. We just talked and talked. Mike is always so good to me. Makes sure I'm okay. Takes care of me. Checks in on me. He's been really helpful lately, especially during this depression, my recent break up, etc. And sometimes, you just need that person. You just need someone to be there for you. 

Saturday helped pull me out of the darkness a little. And on Sunday, when I was at Mass, I thanked God that He held off on The Rapture. Because I realized that there is still so much I want to see and do and people I want to spend time with. (I'm looking at you, AS. Like, directly.)

That's a good start, isn't it?

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