back to myself.

There are a few things you may not know about me.

1. I play the piano. And I play it somethin' fierce. In fact, I almost went to college for piano performance, but I realized that while I certainly have the talent, I most certainly don't have the disposition. Sitting in a practice room for hours and hours so that I can make music perfect for someone else to judge? Nah. I'll just rock out at parties where there's a piano and jam out on my electric keyboard in my apartment, thank you.  What's that? You didn't know I could play Mendelssohn's Rondo Capriccioso, Opus 14? That's okay. We can still be friends.

2. I also play the cello. Not nearly as "fierce" as I play the piano, but I do play. {Okay, confession time: I used to play, but when my parents moved us from Ohio to Pennsylvania when I was 13 years-old, my school didn't have an orchestra, so I quit. ULTIMATE FAIL, Laura. ULTIMATE FAIL. Because I wish I still played.}

3. I used to play the flute, too. In middle school. But I didn't really like it. Too..."flute-y." {i.e. Not enough power.}

So, why do I tell you these things?  Because I realized last weekend that those parts of me have been dormant for a really long time. And I want them to resurface. Soon.

Last weekend I went with my dad to Volkwein's, which is this amazing music store here in Pittsburgh. My dad plays the piano and the violin, and he always said that after taking five years of violin lessons, he'd move on to the cello. He's successfully completed those five years of lessons, so he and I ventured to the music store to pick out a cello for him to rent and use for lessons.

Because I know how to play the cello, my dad asked for some pointers while we sat in the practice room at the store. And, of course, he handed me the cello so that I could play it.

And that's when it happened.

I felt completely and totally Authentic Laura. I felt the most like me that I've felt in ages. I felt real. Alive. Happy, even. 

Yes, happy.

For the depression I've been feeling lately, I'm wondering if music--not just listening to it, but playing it, creating it--might help. Make me feel less heavy, less dark, less sad.  Because I really did feel such joy when I held that cello and dragged the bow across the strings and felt the notes vibrate through my whole body.

I think it's time to get a cello. I can rent one for four months for a very, VERY reasonable flat fee. And then, if I want to stick with it {um, DUH}, it's a monthly fee after that.

Dear Cello, 

I'm sorry we broke up. Can we get back together? I promise to hold you and love you all the days of my life.

Love,

Laura 



{Like the photo at the top? I took it. Yeah, that's me. Playing the cello.}