Wednesday, February 03, 2010

ouch. ugh. blech.

The Ross-a-tron always rolls his eyes at me whenever I say I think I'm dying. Which is a lot of eye-rolling, to be honest. Like, I can't believe they haven't just rolled on out of his head by now. And I'm not saying this to be mean, to make the Ross-a-tron out to look like some heartless creep. He's actually very tender and understanding. I'm the one who's lost her marbles.

I'm convinced I currently have: fibromyalgia; various types of cancer, including (but not limited to) breast, skin, and colon; a brain tumor; cataracts; blocked arteries (hello, I love dairy), and a currently undiscovered rarity that is only acquired by women between the ages of 30-35 who have been south of the Mason-Dixon Line during the third Wednesday of June 2009 when it was rainy and they'd previously had cantaloupe with their breakfasts. No, I haven't been south of the Mason-Dixon Line recently, but that doesn't mean anything.

I am constantly in pain. I'm not making this up. Seriously. Pain. All the time. Every single day. My lower back, my wrists, the joint in my left thumb, and that soft spot between your shoulder and your collar bone. My shins, my arches, my hips. Sometimes it's a dull ache, other times it's a quick, shooting pain that lasts for only a second. Even my boobs hurt. Not PMS-like, but twinges that feel like electrical charges. Granted, my oncologist said that was normal after an excisional biopsy, but can't a girl catch a break?

And don't even get me started on my intestines. Let's just put it this way: the ladies' room and I are intimately involved on an hourly--yes, hourly--basis. I hate eating. If there was a pill I could take or an IV that could just hook into me once or twice a day, that'd be awesome.

So, basically, I'm convinced my body is revolting against me for, well, something. It hates me. And right now, I'm not too fond of it, either. I'm going to the doctor on the 17th of this month because I'm at the point of desperation. I'm ready to hear the hard truth. I'm ready to do whatever I have to (gasp! exercise?!) to get my body right. And I'll get bloodwork done. I'll change my diet if I have to. (Well, I'll still be a vegetarian, but I'll work harder at it.) If I have to stop wearing heels because they're throwing my bones and joints out of whack, well,, crap. Something has to give. I'm 32. I shouldn't feel like I'm 92.

And I don't want to hear anyone say, "Oh, sweetie, it just gets worse as you get older." I'm not making this up. I'm not imagining this pain. None of my other thirty-something friends feel this way. (Well, except for this one...) Something is wrong. And I have to fix it.

Even if it means staying above the Mason-Dixon Line. Or wearing--omg--flats.

with love from Pittsburgh,

{photo from here, and loving it}

5 lovely bits o' feedback.:

Akirah said...

Ugh...I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well. I have days like that -- I just feel myself getting old. I guess it's growing pains. I hope everything is okay. Get some rest!

Duel Living said...

I'm convinced that we are long lost sisters or something. I have the same problem. I have been going to doctors for years...been on anti-depressants for 10...and still don't feel like I'm only 31. I just had ALL my bloodwork done, hormones, the works. I found out that I have a SEVERE vitamin D definciency... (a 4 when normal is around 50...14 is considered really 4 is bad bad bad) I started taking ridiculously high doses of Vit. D (as directed by the doc.) and UGH>>>migraines, but I can say that the joint pain and cramping has been getting better. Only 8 more weeks and I get retested! I hope for you it's something equally as simple to treat. I have feared a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia for there is no real cure...cuz' they just don't know WHAT it is. Good luck, and I hope you feel better tomorrow.
P.S. Are you ALWAYS tired? I am...that's the worst part for me. No energy, I just lack the drive to do much of anything.

krista said...

a good friend of mine was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia. she's 28. i have girl issues (fibroid nonsense) but can't even begin to imagine the chronic, constant pain.
i will be thinking good thoughts for you regarding some answers...xo

Your New Best Friend. said...

Wow!!! How did I miss this post???? I'm with Duel Living, praying it's easy to fix...Yikes. That's stunning in it's overwhelmingness. Seriously, praying.

your friend laura said...

thank you, my darlings! oh, the ol' human's full of excitement now, isn't it? it's cool...i'ma just head on over to the doctor in about a week and see what we can do with our tandem awesomeness.

i promise to keep you posted.