happy hour with the big g.

It's times like these when I really wish I could just text message God and be like, "Dude, wanna grab a beer? It's been a hell of a week!" And He'd text back immediately, "4 sure! C U in 10!" And then we'd meet up at the local bar down the street from my apartment, only He'd be there early, of course, because He's like that. A seat would be saved for me, and He'd would have already ordered me my favorite drink, because, well, He's like that. And before I even let out my first sigh of decompression, He'd be all, "I know, right?! It has been a rough week."

This whole Haiti thing has me wanting to just sit down with The Big G and be like, "Luuuuucy, you have some 'splaining to do!" Because really, I just. don't. get. it. I didn't get it during 9/11, I didn't get it during Hurricane Katrina, and I don't get it now. I don't get it. I believe in God, with all my heart and soul, and I love Him. Completely. In fact, I'd go so far as to say He's the greatest love of my life, my best friend. But right now, I'm pretty pissed at Him. Because I just cannot wrap my head around the pain and suffering and destruction. I cannot wrap my head around why He's letting this happen.

I want to sit down with Him over a drink, have a real chat, get serious. I'd be all, "Remember that time you shook the earth and let thousands of people die?" And He'd be all, "I do remember. Sorry 'bout that. But you gotta trust me. It's all part of My Plan." And I'd be all, "Your plan? Was your plan designed by someone who claimed to be an event coordinator but was actually a professional video game player who didn't know how the real world really functioned?" And He'd be all, "Now, now, my child. Simmer down. Where's your trust in me? Where's your faith?" And I'd be all, "Hold on, I gotta pee. I'll be right back."

And He would hold on. Because He's like that.

And after I got back from peeing, He'd be like, "I missed you. Even though you were separated from me for just a few minutes, I missed you. I always want you near me." And I'd be like, "Really?" And I'd feel really guilty. Because I'd separated myself from Him. But I'd also feel so loved, because He missed me. Me! Can you believe it?! So, I'd be like, "I'm sorry. I missed you, too. And I do trust you, but I just don't understand." And He'd be like, "As long as you trust me, and keep me near you always, you'll eventually feel peace. But you gotta let me do my thing, okay? I make the rules, remember?" And I'd grumble and roll my eyes and be all, "Yeeees, Daaaaad."

And we'd continue to talk over drinks, there in the local bar, with The People. And He'd say hello to everyone, but He'd never make me feel like He wasn't fully present, like He wasn't completely focused on me. And our talk would be down-to-earth, real, no frills. And He'd smile the whole time, because that's what He wants. That's what He loves. And I'd cry (because I always friggin' do), and He'd take the cocktail napkin from underneath his drink and wipe my tears. And then He'd be like, "Let's do this again tomorrow. Let's just keep talking, and I promise you, you'll feel peace."

And He'd pick up the tab.

I think I'm gonna text Him tomorrow.

with love from Pittsburgh,
Laura