Wednesday, January 20, 2010

i.l.s. (irritable laura syndrome).

I'm grumpy. That's right. I said it. I'm grumpy, and I'm irritable, and I'm Just Plain Fussy. I don't know what the deal is, but I do know that I don't like it. At. All.

I've noticed it over the past couple of weeks: losing my patience with people, rolling my eyeballs and mumbling rather-not-so-nice things under my breath, getting irate at other drivers (Hello, Mr. Toyota from West Virginia this morning. I'm looking at you.). Stuff that usually never bothers me is making me simply nuts. And it's not PMS because, well, I'm currently at the MS portion of that acronym. (Sorry to any dudes reading this.)

I feel like I just want to lay on my bed and flail my arms and legs about while simultaneously yelling the word chipmunk at the top of my lungs. (Try it. Seriously. It's a great stress reliever.) And I want to eat cookies. All the time. Just chomp those bitches to you-know-where.


I'm irritated with my co-workers. One in particular who I shall henceforth refer to as The Warlock, even though she's not a dude. That's how bad it is. I stumbled onto a website that says "their [warlocks] focus is on delivering excruciating pain and drawing out the suffering of their victims." Yup. That pretty much sums up my co-worker. She, The Warlock, huffs and puffs around, slams doors, orders people around like she's The Ruler of the Universe, never says please or thank you, gets utterly exasperated over the tiniest things, and expects everyone to read her mind and meet her every wish, the nanosecond she has it. And when something doesn't go her way Just Exactly, she will flip her shit on you because, well, you just happen to be standing there. Such was my fate this past Friday. I literally thought her beady eyes were going to pop out of their sockets and roll all over the office floor. (But then she would've just barked at me to clean them up.)

I want to punch The Warlock. Like, really. A lot. And that is so not like me. I am not a violent or aggressive or abrasive person. Heck, I rarely even get angry. (Ask the Ross-a-tron. He'll tell you. "Yeah, when she's mad, she stops what she's doing and says, 'Seriously?' And that's it. That's what happens when Laura gets mad.") But I'm seeing red these days. Mostly because of The Warlock, but also because of just other people in general.

People be gettin' on my nerves, yo. Pretty soon, I'm gonna be wantin' to punch kittens and baby hedgehogs. And that's just not cool.

Or maybe it's just gas.

with love from Pittsburgh,

(photo {which perfectly resembles my state of mind} from here)

2 lovely bits o' feedback.:

Duel Living said...

I....Feel....your....pain! Seriously! Though I am the type to get's coming so much easier these days. I normally can prevent an eruption of oral diarrhea...but that super power is slowly starting to fade. Let's blame it on the weather and just be done with it. If I ever see your "Warlock"...I'll make sure to give her a wedgie or at least the finger in your honor. Good Luck! And may the force be with you.

Tobi said...

Uh-Oh L…You need Ho-Hos stat! I recognize these symptoms.