Monday, October 26, 2009

one foot in the water.


I've always been afraid of drowning. I'm scared to death of large bodies of water. Did you know that? I am. Having the water pull me under, sucking me down towards a dark and airless tomb. Or something coming up from the bottom, grabbing me, devouring me.

I can swim, yes. Quite well. But sometimes there are forces that you can't evade, no matter how well you can swim. Treading water still requires energy, and sometimes that energy gives out. Gets used up. Goes away.

But sometimes that energy comes back. And you are able to tread again. Or you decide you'll kick whatever it is that comes up from below. You'll kick and kick and kick and even scream until you are the victorious one.

I'm thinking about putting one foot in the water. It's scary as hell, and I don't know what's going to happen, but I feel as though I should dab my toe into the waters and hope that they don't pull me under. I'm hoping instead that the waters will give me life.

I think I'm going to start writing here again.

6 lovely bits o' feedback.:

Josh said...

Hey Laura-

Glad to see you're getting your feet wet. Writing in a venue like this can be scary, and it can bring out things buried deep and not-so-deep inside, but it can also be the little inflatable wings you need to keep your head above water. Here's hoping you find your water wings :-)

krista said...

i was just thinking about you today...
xoxo

Julie said...

Love you!

PMIGirls said...

Welcome back. We're looking forward to what you have to say, and we sincerely hope you find that the water's not so bad once you jump in.

Lisa E said...

Its good to see you. Welcome back!

Judi said...

I don't know what made me check here today...perhaps I was just drawn here with the hope you would be here.
I do hope you write again and live again.....and love again. I find that once I start writing again....I find the rest or the rest finds me. Fingers crossed that will work for you...
All the best....
Judi