how?

I do not know how I will survive this loss.

Somehow, I am managing to get out of bed, to bathe, to eat, to get to work.

But it is all in a haze of shock and utter grief.

I do not know how I will survive this loss.

But I must. I think of those who lost loved ones on 9/11. I've been thinking about that all day today. What right do I have to feel so paralyzed and grief-stricken, when my loved one is still alive?

But he is gone. And that is still a loss.

And so I do not know how I will survive it.