embarrassed.

I have a confession. I'm rather embarrassed to be an American these days.  I don't really talk politics.  Like, ever.  It hurts too much, quite frankly.  Republicans calling Democrats a bunch of heartless, anti-American Socialists.  Democrats calling Republicans a bunch of fear-mongering Palin-lovers.  When I look at my Twitter feed or pop on over to CNN, my heart just hurts.  The name-calling.  The blanket assumptions.  The hate. Oh, my! The hate! 

This is not the country my Pappap fought for over 65 years ago.  This is not the country he spent being a POW for over 2 years for.  This is not the country he returned to weighing only 98 pounds.

My grandfather passed away over a decade ago.  But I see his face every time I see Americans acting hateful. I see his face looking sad.  I see his face crying.  I see his face, his head shaking because today Americans just don't get it.  I'm glad, though, that he doesn't have to see what this country has come to.  The hate.  The name-calling.  The outrageous assumptions, presumptions, lying, and rumor-spreading.  The lack of respect for our fellow countrymen and women, regardless of political affiliation, gender, religion, sexual orientation, national origin, etc.  I would never want my Pappap to see any of this.

I'm a liberal.  My parents are staunch conservatives.  We disagree on a lot of things. 
I'm Catholic.  So are my parents.  We disagree about a lot of things within the Church.
I'm a feminist.  My parents don't really know what that means.  But I admire and respect men.
I'm an intellectual.  Nobody else in my family holds a master's degree.  But I will always put human beings before intellectual pursuits.

And yet, I don't spew hate.  I don't put people down.  I don't embrace prejudice, separatism, or elitism.  I don't say this to make myself sound fantastic.  I say this because it's possible to believe and embrace things that are different from what other people believe and embrace, and still exude love.

It is possible.

I don't know why so many people in our country behave as though it's not.

{Would you look at that.  I'm talkin' politics.}

Even when people say things in a joking way, they're still saying those things.  Those things that cause friction, disruption between countrymen and women,  hate among fellow humans.  And it breaks my heart.  I don't want to be a part of that.  Ever. 

Perhaps I'm too optimistic.  Perhaps I'm naive.  Perhaps I haven't encountered people who would cause a change in me that would have me behave badly.  I don't know.  But I do know that love and kindness are the only things I ever want to be associated with.  Because that was what my Pappap did.  He lived love and kindness.  He fought for our country (and, yes, he probably did things during the war that I don't want to know about).  But when he came back, he was love.  He was integrity.  He was acceptance.

I want to be a verb like my Pappap.  To live in action and words and thoughts what it means to be love.  I want to be proud to be an American again, but I don't know how.  I want to help people learn to love each other, even through disagreements, even through differences, even through hardship.  That is all I want. 

What is it that you want?

with love from Pittsburgh,
Laura
{The frayed flag above makes my heart hurt. You can find it here via ffffound.}